24 September 2006

Boris Interrupted: Connecticut: Mayflower Inn


When Boris told us he was going out to the wilderness of Connecticut, we assumed he was taking some "relaxation" at Silver Hill - of course we were wrong:

"Headed to glorious Washington, Connecticut for a relaxing weekend at the Mayflower Inn with the lovely Natasha.

Having never been to this out of the way area of CT, I was concerned about the quality of the establishment. Driving through small towns filled with shitty cars and ugly people, I grew even more concerned. These concerns were alleviated as soon as we drove up the Mayflower driveway to see the elegant Connecticut cottage and beautiful grounds, and a driveway filled with serious sports cars and only a couple of SUVs, but at least they were Range Rovers.

The staff was extremely attentive and kind right off the bat. Most of the staffmembers were young white redheads with freckles, but nevertheless very sweet. Personally, I prefer the staff at The Wheatleigh but mostly because they are European and therefore more attractive and better at ass-kissing, but I digress. The manager at the Mayflower, Wade (also apparently known as
"Mr. Mayflower") was great. He was kind enough to bring me
Alka-Seltzer at 1:30am as I was having some sort of heartburn attack (the country air makes me crazy) looking bright-eyed and perky.

There is a little hotel shop run by a funny badly-dressed Latino flamer who sells all sorts of overpriced Loro Piana getups. After a boozie dinner one night, I purchased a set of cocktail napkins that I thought were hankerchiefs. Fuck it, I'll use them as hankerchiefs--the WASP set in Palm Beach will never know the difference.

Off of the staff and onto the rest of the joint. One should definitely stay in the Eaton Suite (Room 22). It's the nicest room by far. The suite has a terrace, which is important so one can smoke. However since the whole place is non-smoking I had to make due with a converted water bottle for an ashtray. Also, the terrace was off of the bedroom which was not so great as it stunk up the sleeping quarters when I smoked my Marlboros. The minibar had very sparse offerings. I had to summon up a bottle of Black Label for the weekend, which I think may have upset the staff's small-town sensibilities but who gives a shit I've got to feel at home if I'm this far away from a big city.

I attempted to go running (supposedly this is going to improve my health but I'm still waiting to see that happen) on the hotel grounds but there apparently is no track and I was instead sent into the forest, and that was no fun.

The food was very tasty at the good ol' Mayflower. The hamburger was excellent for lunch, and dinner highlights included a delicious fried soft shell crab with barbecued bacon (thick and short ribesque just how I like it), a pampano in a beurre blanc sauce (I'm fat and I like butter) topped with morels, and I also consumed a very good steak. The quality about all these dishes which I most admired was that none of them needed additional salting or any other seasoning, something quite rare even in the best establishments. The dining room also had a proper wine list which I was pleased with. They had my Natasha's favorite 2001 Chevalier Montrachet, and a 1999 Nuit St. Georges for the night I consumed the steak.

Now onto the spa: This was a large, attractive and very white building, much more modern than the main cottage of The Mayflower. There were large comfortable chairs with throws on them all over the place to lounge on while waiting to be served. The massage was very very good--no kung fu deep tissue crap, just really talented masseuses who left me feeling like butter. The masseuses were older but decent-looking women, not butch. I tried to restrain myself from getting an erection during my massage but no luck (always happens, I'm too used to the shady Russian massage parlors of my youth). Anyway, no happy ending but a happily-massaged fat Russian.

In terms of other activiites up here in sunny Washington, CT there weren't too many except for antique shopping. This actually was more enjoyable than I expected especially as I have a new apartment on the Upper East which has nothing in it. We found one place called G. Sergeant which had some good French antique pieces. I picked up some Louis XVI bergere (that's armchair in bullshit speak).

Ta ta my babies!

Aint a damn thing changed,
Boris

+Mayflower Inn and Spa, 118 Woodbury Rd, Washington Depot, CT, +1 860 868-9466.
+Silver Hill Hospital, New Canaan, CT.
+Recommended Viewing: CT: Strange Suburbia: The Ice Storm.

20 September 2006

Gastronomic: Spain: Elbulli


The W4 gastromic department, consisting of Boris and Tango Alpha, brings us word of the finest resturaunt on the planet:

"When it comes to the best don't settle for less. Get on a plane and reach for paradise at the best restaurant in the world: Elbulli. There are no limits, no rules, just imaginative intuitive creations. Eating becomes art and exclusivity becomes the jewel of life experience. The philosophy of this gastronomic adventure will turn your world upside down and make you kneel to the power of this food religion. Jesus would have thought twice about breaking bread if this place existed during his time."

+Elbulli, Calle Puertaferrisa 7 -9 Prin. 2a. Barcelona Spain Phone: +34 932703700.
+Wikipedia: "Ferran Adria."

10 September 2006

Highball: Southern Delight: Buenos Aires


Just back from a siesta in the Pampas, Highball sends in her latest intoxicating discoveries from Buenos Aires:

"As the summer is soon to dawn the sexy playground of Buenos Aires, its time to start planning your getaway. One of the most enjoyable restaurants is the Green Bamboo, a Vietamese delight that is a short cab from Recoleta in Palermo. It is a small spot that doesn’t take reservations but has some of the best food in town. Although we waited until 11PM to eat because it was so packed, it was absolutely worth the wait. Also try the nearby Olsen and snag a table outside. The food is Scandinavian, the cocktail menu is pretty good and the outdoor tables are a must have. The crowd is composed of standard issue yuppies and isn’t much of a scene but it’s a good place for dinner if you are with a couple others.

No trip to BA is complete without your late night dive and the tackiest one possible is Solid Gold in Recoleta. Evidently this spot has sister locations dotting the globe and I am almost certain is a tourist trap. But no matter. It is a strip club and discoteque which are the cover for its true identity: a brothel. Porn plays on the screens throughout the building while the music blares. It is sketchy but does not close. So if you are drunk enough, entertainment abounds but you probably wont want to admit you darkened their door the next day.

After you wake up with a killer hangover, head over to Aqua Vita, a “medical” spa in Recoleta that looks to please its clients. The steam bath nearly melted my skin but sobered me up in minutes. This spa was not only relaxing and intimate but the masseuses were extremely hot. And let’s just say, the fine line was nearly crossed for all who attended. A happy ending is no doubt part of the package upon request."

+Green Bamboo, Costa Rica 5802, Buenos Aires +11 4775 7050.
+Olsen, Gorriti 5870, Buenos Aires +11 4776 7677.
+Aqua Vita, Arenales 1965, Buenos Aires +11 4812 5989.
+Previous W4: Highball Reports.

08 September 2006

Bad Girls of Boading School: Detox Edition


Now back on terra firma and detoxing at the Upper East Side AA meeting in their newest pair of Tod's driving shoes, The Bad Girls of Boarding School send in their final thoughts on Capri:

"The first is Panta Rei – it’s a fairly new nightclub/spa and a really neat concept. You descend about 100 feet by steep steps into a cliff overlooking the gulf of Capri until you arrive in an enormous indoor/outdoor club filled with futon mattresses and hanging sheets – reminiscent of the Mondrian in LA - but with an indoor pool instead. The hook is that you can get massage treatments on beds while sipping Dona Lucia’s amongst an uber attractive Italian jet set, not tourists. The DJ spins different tunes in each of 5 rooms. Flat TV screens with tranquil landscape images abound – lots of water – and there are dry steam rooms and wet steam showers available to the ambitious. Because of its anonymity, Panta Rei has maintained a hyper cool feel and is quite sensual. Added bonus: all the furniture is waterproof which matters to the third of the sexy crowd that is wet and sparsely dressed. Don’t arrive before midnight.

The second is an authentic Capri experience, a restaurant called Da Paolino. It’s a tourist trap but worth the visit. The taxi drops you at the bottom of a dark, long, narrow, winding driveway. When you finally arrive at the top, huffing and puffing, you’re immersed in a lush lemon grove – huge lemons hanging from trees everywhere as well as bright fish tanks amply filled with exotic creatures of the sea. The friendly wait staff keep the Kir Royals flowing. The style is buffet and the antipasti bar and desserts (highly affected by lemon) are exquisite. Try the octopus, salmon and prosciutto. Get there before 11pm though as the buffet shuts down at 11:30pm and it’s strictly ‘a la carte’ from then on. Yet another romantic evening for the team as the Vegas style couple at the table next to us got engaged (surely not a first at Da Paolino) and passionately shared one chair for the next 30 minutes. The cherry on top was two glasses of limoncello to cap off a delightful culinary experience in spite of the unsolicited peep show.

The third place is a crazy tavern near the Qvisisana called Anema e Core. All ages are welcome and everyone drinks peach sangria in excess. The allure is the live band and open microphones. Basically, Anema e Core is a giant karaoke bar with no screen, no words and no standards. The result, a debaucherous crew of 20 to 70 somethings belting out everything from Michael Jackson to Andrea Bocelli and dancing shamelessly on wooden tables. You can hear the raucous all the way at the piazetta 3 blocks away. It’s impossible not to get sucked in and well worth it. When you enter, the walls and ceilings are covered in photos of celebrities (from Neil Diamond to Princes William & Harry and Demi & Ashton) who have all come to participate in the outrageous sing-a-long. Be careful: several photographers wander the premises incognito to capture candid shots for display. It’s a must see, a lot of fun and truly hilarious. That’s all for now. Ciao bello!"

+Tods.
+Small Rooms: Hotels: Mondrain, 8440 W Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles, +1 323 650-8999.
+Panta Rei, Capri.
+Da Paolino, Capri.
+Anema e Core, Capri.

07 September 2006

Papi to La Plage Non-Stop: St. Barths Direct


With summer now behind us it is time to look forward to the fall and yes, the dreaded winter - prepare the prozac, uncork the Whiskey - it will be here soon. With that in mind we bring you an update from the W4 Tropics desk:

"First there was Ron Perlman, then there was Puffy, now there are cruiseships in the harbor. What is next step in the slow demise of the tropical paradise that is St. Barths you ask? Direct flights from San Juan, Peurto Rico of course! Tradewind Aviation has launched a new direct service from San Juan straight into St. Barths. As an introductory fare they are offering seats for $350 each way. While this may make the trip to St. Barths easier we cannot imagine it will make the crowd at high season any pleasanter."

+Tradewind Avaition.
+Wimco: Offer.

Overdue Library Book: Gramercy Park Hotel


Before leaving for her tutorial on Ibiza closing parties, Overdue Library Book goes on an expedition to the new Gramercy Park Hotel to research the state of libations at exhaustingly trendy hotels. Clearly she has yet to return her book to the Library Bar at Schrager's older hotel, The Hudson:

"Hot night spots long ago migrated downtown. Now, one need not evern bother venturing to midtown for the Museum of Modern Art. Instead, the Jade and Rose Bars at the Gramercy Park Hotel host Basquiats, Twomblys and Warhols to rival any museum collection. Interview and Art in America Publisher Peter Brandt and artist Julian Schnabel have teamed up with hotelier Ian Schrager for this enterprise, and have loaned works from their private collections. The Jade and Rose Bars are cheekily named for their wall colors, one would have thought the aesthetes could have been more creative? The vanilla martini is not to be missed, however, the more spacious Rose Bar closes to the public nightly at 9 pm for private functions. Patrons are then crowded into the Jade Bar, which is too narrow for mingling. The banquettes on the side offer sufficient space to finish your martini and to view the breathtaking lobby of the hotel. The elusive restaurant, to be run by Mr. Yau of Wagamama/Hakkasan success in London, opens shortly on the ground floor, while the private members' club with roofdeck opens in November, just in time for the snow."

+Jade and Rose Bars, Gramercy Park Hotel, 2 Lexington Ave, New York +1 212 475-4320.

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05 September 2006

Lucy In The Sky (TV) With Diamonds:Yalos Diamonds


For those of us who truly can't get enough of the gaudiest of everything, Keymat Industrie has introduced the Yalos Diamonds LCD television set. That's right, for $130,000 you can have your very own 20-carat diamond-studded LCD TV. While we quickly grew tired of the concept of other diamond-studded electronics, such as the Goldvish cell phones, the idea of a diamond TV is almost so over-the-top that you kind of have to love it. It's hard to break, it's relatively undesirable to steal, and it's one of the biggest fuck you toys anyone could possibly own. So the next time you're looking for a gift for your favorite Saudi or Kimora Lee Simmons, the Yalos Diamonds is the answer.
+Yalos Diamonds LCD Television, Keymat Industrie.
+
Goldvish.
+Kimora Lee Simmons.
+England: Sky TV.

04 September 2006

The Sun Sets On the Summer of 2006



W4 hopes you had a wonderful summer.

We now return you to our irregularly scheduled and offensively tan programming.

+Summer 2006: Track: Acoustic: World Hold On: Live Ibiza: Cafe Mambo [megaupload].
+Related: Coming Soon on W4: Ibiza Closing Parties Report.
+W4 Photog: London, 11 February 2006.