East Hampton Report: Burn Star Shack Burn

You already know this but going out in East or Southampton is a waste of time and money. The cheap decor, obnoxious crowds, bad music, yappy women, rude management -- even a continent away it gives us a headache. As one of our faithful fours reports, the Star Shack (Star Room) is predictably tacky as usual:
"I was with Pierre Petrus and some of our cadettes and lieutenants at Star Room on Sunday night for some P Diddy after-party. We got a table upstairs next to one of the owner's tables (actually a gent who claimed to be an owner but is really of management level I believe), which was filled with his band of hoochies and deadbeats. After about an hour, said "owner" tried to put his group of trash at our table, making no excuse except that he needed our table to seat the crap that he considers VIPs. I obviously completely lost my shit and told them that I would be cancelling the $1,200 charge for our bottles on the Centurion. The waitress started crying while I was busy coordinating with two of my burly comrades to throw our neighbor over the balcony, but unfortunately he'd disappeared. That was a bit of a disappointment, but no worries I'm planning to burn the goddamn Star Shack down!"
+Tune: Leftfield, "Open Up" Lyrics.
+Flick: Firestarter.
+How-to: Molotov Cocktail.
+Star Room, Montauk Hwy, Wainscott, NY +1 631 537 3332.
+For the latest from W4 check out full site at www.wfour.com.