Boozing with Boris: Cisco

Boris reports on his latest attempt at self-medication:

We here at W4 feel that cocktailing is a key component to maintaining sanity. As such, we are always looking for new beverages to help numb the pain and fuel the bad behavior. Ignoring the martini as the drink of the yuppy ad exec, I moved on to straight vodka, then Dark & Stormy's, then to old faithful Black Label, then on to the evil Absenthe and Slingshots, and then I panicked that I'd hit a wall. Then it hit me: instead of looking forward for the ideal bevi, I needed to look to the past.

Many moons ago as a young teenager, I found myself asleep on a bench in Carl Schultz Park having slept the night there (a little dirty but still impeccably dressed). What had caused me to choose a park bench instead of the bed in my Park Avenue apartment? The true devil of all beverages: Cisco.

Cisco is a fruit flavored bum wine mixed with some strange chemicals designed to make you hallucinate and subsequently lose your mind. It's generally referred to as "liquid crack" giving the consumer an initial feeling of euphoria, then a sense of extreme power, followed by complete madness best likened to the actions of an insane naked homeless man.

I strongly recommend Cisco for those of you, like myself, who have hit the alcoholic wall and broken right throught it. Which reminds me, I'm far too sober!

You're welcome,
Boris

+Canandaigua Wines, Various Liquor Stores above East 97th Street in Manhattan.
+Dark and Stormy, Goslings.
+W4: PR Girls Report: Our Cocktail of the Week.
+Meditation Bench with Rounded Bottom For Comfort: Yoga.com.