Last Man In London Reports: La Playa

If you find yourself feeling like the last man in London this month head for La Playa. The Great Eastern hotel has decided to dump 10 tons of sand in their seven story high open atrium, throw in a few neon pink palm trees and deck chairs and blast the music loud enough to drive away any paying guests. On a recent Friday night when some of our correspondents investigated they found rock’s royalty and rubbish, Mick Jagger and Kelly Osbourne, surrounded by women dressed as Gwen Stefani pirates and men dressed as Andre 3000/Fansworth Bentley dandies. The sand had yet to be laid down but it is doubtful that the crowd would have even noticed what was happening below their feet as they were too focused on making a spectacle. We suggest drinking heavily prior to arriving and dressing in your most outlandish outfit if possible. The music was that uber trendy semi-rock/semi-electronic/mostly feedback stuff that no one really likes but thankfully the clouds broke and they put on a more danceable eurobeat as the clock hit one.
+The Great Eastern Hotel, Liverpool Street, London. +44 20 7618 5000.
+For Real Palm Trees We Suggest: MTV Music Video Awards,
28 August, Miami.