Boris: Kobe Club: NYC

"On a recent evening, in an effort to escape my new Upper East den of insanity, I ventured out to the newly-opened Jeffrey Chodorow steakhouse Kobe Club. Located in the old location of Mix on 58th, the place has been transformed into what looks like an S & M club. It's dark everywhere and there are hundreds of samurai swords hanging from the ceiling, which is an interesting concept but kind of anxiety-causing in reality. The crowd was fairly Jersey/trashy but not terribly so. There were only a handful of gents wearing loud cheap wannabe Etro shirts with unpleasantly wide collars. In terms of the food, some of it was excellent and some of it was extremely mediocre. To start we were presented with a Kobe hot dog as an amuse bouche (that was when this fat Russian knew he was in the right place). Following said Japanese perro caliente, I consumed the fried oysters prepared with creamed spinach, lobster bernaise, and a dollop of caviar which were fucking delicious although rich enough to kill a herd of goats. Now down to business--the meats. I tried all different types of their Kobe and its derivatives and to be quite honest the most tender and flavorful was the Australian. The Japanese was too bland and the American shit almost tasted like cheese it was so gamey. On a happier note, two excellent side dishes we included in our meal were the Kobe bacon (I guess you can't really go wrong with that) and an unbelievable white truffle creamed corn. For beverages, I was saddened to find what looked like a bottle menu from a nightclub including Kobe punches which tasted like bubble gum. I stuck with the house Pinot Noir and I was perfectly happy. All in all, Kobe Club is a good new find but mostly it made me want to take a trip to Aussieland and bring myself home a new beer-rubbed bovine buddy to gnaw on."

+Kobe Club, 68 West 58th Street New York, NY +1 212 644-5623.