Not So Suite: Miami: Bejewelled

With the Winter Music Conference this weekend in Miami, our crack team of W4 sunseekers and assorted lushes descended on the sun-drenched city well ahead of the pill-popping techno set to update you on the latest from the isle of shady palms. In the first of our incoming reports, wild child Bejewelled sends this dispatch on the new late night spot Snatch and its supposed high class sister club above, Suite:
"When in Miami, do your best to steer clear of the disaster area filled with sweaty, greasy Eastern Europeans and their trashy escorts that goes by the name of Suite. The volume of the music is at a level that hurts your ears, the women are reminiscent of early 90s Sir Mix-a-Lot videos, and the men push you over like bowling pins unless you flash your tatas at them, in which case they begin drooling on you, adding to the amassing beads of sweat that have already formed due to the 150 degree temperature and lack of any ventilation. Sound fun?"
+Suite / Snatch, 1248 Washington Avenue, Miami +1 305 674 4464.
+Winter Music Conference, Miami, 24 to 28 March.
+On A Positive Note: Fun Beach Bar: Raleigh Hotel, 1775 Collins Ave., Miami Beach +1 305-534-6300.
+Photog: W4: Miami, 18 March 2006.